You are faced with a sea of men every day, just like you are faced with a sea of shoes every time you walk through the aisles of a DSW. There are shoes everywhere. Beautiful shoes, sexy shoes, practical shoes, ugly shoes, unconventional shoes. It can be dizzying and confusing and glorious.
But all of a sudden, you zero in on one pair... EUREKA! You've found them! None of the other shoes matter anymore, hell, you don't even give them a second glance. No, you have found the one pair that you've been dying to slip your feet into since the day you were born. And when you try that pair on you feel gorgeous and intoxicating. "Hello, you sexy and exciting boot," you coo to your new love, "We shall never part."
You know they hurt a little. Let's be fair, you know it will take awhile for the boot to mold to your foot. But you are so smitten that you wear them out of the store! And then...you dance. Goodness gracious, do you dance in those shoes!
"... I can break them in!" you think to yourself, boldly.
But you know.
Hell, you had an inkling the second you stepped out the door.
The truth is, these shoes REALLY hurt.
Sure, it will be a great couple of hours, a few sweet precious moments that you will revel in, but the fact remains that these shoes don't fit quite right, they kill your arches, and they burn your toes. They will honestly leave you in so much pain that you will soon be in tears, tearing the shoes off your feet by the end of the night, walking home barefoot because you cannot even fathom the ridiculous notion of wearing them a minute longer.
Those shoes, though sexy and exciting and flashy, have ruined your night.
And when you made that purchase, tell me there wasn't a part of you that secretly wondered if those shoes would eventually make you miserable.
So what's a girl to do?
Ahh, yes! What about the practical shoe?
Surely there must be a practical shoe that won't make you cry!
And there are. There are countless practical shoes. They're everywhere.
You know this pair will be dependable. You know it will be comfortable. And what girl doesn't want a dependable comfortable shoe that won't fail her and won't make her cry?
But do you run home to your practical shoe, ready to rip its laces off? Do you look at your practical shoe and think, "Oh baby, let me tie you up."
No. It is dependable, but sexy it is not.
The sexy shoe isn't practical enough, and the practical shoe isn't sexy enough. You know you won't be excited about a plain pair with no personality. And perhaps you could grow to love this dependable comfy shoe, but you can't help but want something more than "just comfortable."
So you hold off on purchasing any shoe. You tried them on and took them for a spin through the aisles, but neither pair is what you really want. You don't want to waste anymore time on something you know isn't what you're looking for.
Much like Prince Charming looking for his Cinderella, you are looking for your shoe-- but not a piece of shit glass shoe with a spiked heel, because you know dear old Cindy's feet were bleeding all the time.
You're looking for a refreshing hybrid of comfort and uniqueness. Because your feet are shaped funnily and not any pair will do. One day you'll find your sole-mate, but until then, you're single and bootless. Those kids in China better get to work.
