It is Friday night.
And I am watching Dateline.
And
I am happy to be watching Dateline about murder mysteries and women
snapping and I am laying on the couch marveling how my Friday nights
have changed so very much. I have gone from wearing skimpy shirts and looking for a man to having boyfriends and spending my Friday nights with
my man to me being tired from the long week and relieved I can sit my
ass on the couch, eat some Chinese food, and watch Dateline about a
woman "accidentally" killing her man.
I find no shame in putting on a face mask, drinking a glass of wine, and watching the news.
Evenings as a twenty-something are very different from evenings as an early thirty-something.
This month I found out my first boyfriend is engaged. We
miraculously still speak and are on good terms. This
month my second boyfriend will be getting married to the first woman he
started dating after he broke up with me. We, unsurprisingly, do NOT
speak and are in no way friends. And this month my third and
most recent ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for 2 and half-ish
months. We never said we would try to be friends. We didn't want to
make promises we couldn't keep. I'd like to think we
could be one day, but I know it's not realistic considering how sad we
both were when we decided to part ways. In the most adult breakup of my
life, we both knew we weren't right for each other and neither one of
us wanted to walk away, but we both knew we should. Or shouldn't we have? Ick.
Those kind of breakups suck by the way.
And so I sit here on the couch on a Friday night because I am tired.
Dating is difficult and I tired of it a decade ago. I'd love to press a
little button and just make my way through the sea of men and find a
good fit, but I am nutty and most people don't interest me. I'd also
like to press a little red button and be ready to date. I've been on a few
dates the past month or so, but even the good ones leave you wondering
if you're ready. But that being said....there was a good one.
So I guess you won't know if you're ready til you try?
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