The Sugar High

I might be in the process of overdosing on Sour Patch children.

The back office is full of sugar. Sugar is in every corner. I feel like a puppy in a cage stuck behind the front desk with bundles of sugar-induced energy, wanting to run around in circles or salsa dance deliberately in front of the fish-tank glass walls, but I am trapped behind the front desk with only twelve check-ins left and three hours ahead of me.

The football players look at me cross-eyed when I ask for their identification--they assume I should know who they are, but I truly don't. This makes me laugh. Quiet little laughs. Behind their backs, of course, when they can't hear me.

I try to take a pencap off of a pen for a guest to sign their registration card, and for some reason, I fail miserably in removing the cap. "Well that's on there tight!" I exclaim. I give the guest another pen while my German supervisor removes the pencap with one great tug. "It's all the potatoes!" she smiles at me. The guests laugh.

I dash to the back for another piece of candy, because candy calls to me at the best of times, and when it is taunting me from a mere 100 feet away, I almost certainly will succumb to its peer pressure and sweet siren calls.

"Eat me.....! Eat me.....!" the candy cheers.

I eat the candy! In one swoop! Gone! FFxzzzz popppp whooooooosh.

Those who know me know I have crazy little silly sessions that often last for 10 minutes at a time, giggle fits and swooshy limbs and lilts of nonsensical laughter towards jokes that only make sense to me.

Some people would say these are special times. Yes.

Women walk around in the lobby in clothing they should seriously re-think.

Some women should not wear mini-skirts. There. I said it.

I feel the sour patch kids wreaking havoc. They are playing hopscotch and jumping rope and want to make fools of themselves in a kickball game. They are listening to smooth jazz playing and are getting bored. They are starting to irritate me.

They are ready to go to the bar. My stomach is getting upset. But nooooOOOOoooooo, don't let them win!

Onwards! Onwards to the bar with the sour patch kids in mini skirts and the pups in cages about to be freed!

Two hours and 20 minutes left.

The sugar is wearing off.

I feel a calm now.

Well, calmer, at least. And a little gross.

I am clearly crazy.

Love,

K.xxxx