Random Thoughts 1.29.10

There are certain things that entertain me. Things that give me glee. Simple things. For instance:

1. Seeing people singing in their cars.
Sometimes the drivers know they are being watched and, quite simply, do not care. They sing on unapologetically.  It is equally exciting when they sing, not realizing others are watching them, and then when they are caught, their faces are covered with the sheepish "ohhhhhhhhhh!" This makes me feel like I was witness to something I wasn't meant to see, resulting in an inner feeling of awkward happiness.

2.When the train is pulling up to you just as you reach the platform.
You are not in a rush. It is a leisurely walk to your destination, and then the train arrives, much like a chauffeur arriving to pick up a rich woman who called a day in advance for door-to-door service.

3. The train stops RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
I love it when the doors line up with my body and open right in front of me as if that train car was  meant specifically for me.

4. Waking up on your day off and realizing you don't need to get up.
There are so many variations on this. One is when you wake up before your alarm would have gone off and you sweetly realize you can go back to bed. Another is when you wake up after the time you would have set your alarm for and, for a split second, you think you are late and thrash around crazily in your covers, but then you realize you don't need to be up at all and you can go back to bed. One other good alarm clock moment is when you wake up and realize you still have 3 hours before you need to get up. Sleep is good. Alarm clocks are not.

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SKETCH LIST!

There are also things that make me crazy.

These are the newest Sketch Offenders of the year TEN:

1. Pen caps.
Picking up a pen from the pen holder at work and finding that there are caps on both ends of the pen. So now you don't know which end of the pen is the one that actually writes. Ultimately, there is the split-second decision which cap to pull off first, and really, you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, but inevitably, you pull off the wrong cap and you just see the ugly stub of the pen that does not write at all, but rather, just sits there with the ink swelling in its bottom.  This bothers me. It happens to me a lot.

2. Hangers.
Shopping at a clothing store and picking out the one hanger that seems to have gotten tangled up in all the other hangers, creating a hanger incident whereby the whole bevy of hangers falls to the ground and the one shirt you want is still twisted up, mocking you, because all you wanted to do was see if it was a size 6,  but now you just give up because there are fifteen size 2Xs and twenty size 0's dancing around the one real-person-sized shirt you need, so you decide to just let all the hangers win-- except then you decide the hangers can go piss off and you swashbuckle each one expertly and put them back in their pens until you finally wrangle the size 6 and get it to the dressing room only to realize the sizing is off and you really needed an 8 in the first place and your whole struggle was for NOTHING.


that was all one sentence. i think that's pretty cool.

 

3. Alarm Clocks take 2. 
There are sweet alarm clock moments but there are also awful ones. Like the moment when you wake up and realize you have overslept. Or the moment you realize your power went out overnight and you are now late. Or the moment you realize you have set your alarm for PM instead of AM. Or the moment after you have woken up, gotten ready for work or whatnot, and realize that it is your day off and you could have stayed sleeping.

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More weird things:

1. Man on the train came up to me and told me he was going to start smoking and he was just giving me a heads up in case I wanted to move. I was angry he was going to smoke, but at the same time, I thought it was nice of him for letting me know about it before he did it.

2. Pregnant lady on train obviously about to pop the big one. She seemed to need a lot of help but no one was helping her. I silently wondered why. I kept my eye on her, prepared to hop up if she needed assistance getting off the train. Something was a little off about her. I wasn't sure what was going on. I kept thinking to myself, "God, Katherine, what's wrong with you, go talk to her, see if she's okay." But I didn't. I still don't know why. Finally, a man helped her get up as she was getting off the train to get to the hospital. As soon as she left, people started talking about how she smelled of alcohol and it seemed like she was drunk. 

I still feel bad I never helped her. 

The Man.

The man wore a black leather jacket, a small green backpack, and had a small head. His hair was thinning at the crown and his glasses suggested far-sightedness.

His gait was reminiscent of a timid businessman unsure of what he would say at his 9am meeting to close the big deal.

His boss had let him coordinate everything, reluctantly.

The man walked up the stairs, breathing sharply, uncomfortably aware that his self-worth hinged upon the next hour and a half.  He clung to the strap of his weathered backpack as if he was clinging to the credibility and respect he had built for himself over the past few years.

The man thought of his beautiful wife at the top of the stairs, imagining her face when he would give her the good news.

They had just gotten married the month before.

She never told him she almost didn't walk down the aisle.

He adjusted his glasses and straightened his jacket. And then the man walked around the corner, out of my sight, and into the city.

Random Thoughts 1.19.10

1. Woke up in middle of night to something painfully jabbing me in back. No, was not a man. Was a spoon. There is no explanation for spoon in bed. Remain confused.

2. Continue to see men, women, and children spitting multiple times a day. Continue to see loogies on sidewalk. Most current realization: it is far worse to see a loogie on street while yawning than while not yawning. Gross icky feeling ensues when mouth is open.

3. Roommate arrived back at apartment from night shift at bar just as I was getting ready to leave apartment for morning shift at hotel. We stared at each other, noting situation was just disgusting. She went to bed and I went to work. Dejavu 9 hours later as I came home from work to take nap just as she was about to leave home to start day. Repeat disgusting feeling.

4. Woman called hotel inquiring about a bottle of hot sauce left at front desk for her. Hot sauce nowhere to be seen. Decide woman is crazy.

5. Man comes down from guest room and leaves bottle of hot sauce for lady at front desk. Things now make sense. Decide they are both crazy.

6. Man checked in wearing feathered vintage 1940s hat. Reminded of childhood when I once stole feathers from crisp new mens' hats in department store. Not just one. A whole flock of feathers. Mom and Dad found said feathers in car when we got home. They were not pleased. My alibi: Gem and the Holograms made me do it. Gem wanted the feathers. I cried. I was maybe less than 5 years old. Mom and Dad did not turn me in. That is when my life of crime began.

7. Young children with bright posters lit up Clark street yesterday morning raising money for Haiti. Their spirit gives us hope.

8. Graffiti word of the day: HEAR

    Where seen: Wall of red line train written in black in between the red line stops.

    Up for interpretation: Listen to what people are actually saying. Really listen. Indulge. Engage.

                                             You might hear something unspoken.

Random Thoughts 1.17.10

Notable:

1. My garden is growing. Newest additions are 2 baby cacti, a mini splash plant, and some pink flower I can't recall the name of. My window sill is beautiful. And on it sits a dangerous cactus.

2. The couple who owns Ben's Noodles now knows me not only by face, but by name. And they know my dish too. When I call and order ginger chicken with extra vegetable, they know that's me. And I do not feel any shame in this.

3. Saw a man wearing a purple plaid shirt and green patterned tie that did not go together whatsoever. This made me smile. Man's clothing combination made no sense, looked completely silly, and yet, I could immediately tell this was the man's chosen style. It made him happy. And so it made me happy.

4. Important lesson learned: meeting a man in a snowstorm does not equal destiny. But it sure does make an interesting story.

5. Spent some time watching "Worst Cooks in America." These are some of the whiniest most emotional cooks I have ever seen in my life. It's a piece of chicken. Pull yourself together. It's gonna be okay.

6. I have a slight obsession with Starbucks Signature Hazelnut Hot Chocolate. It is so comforting in the cold. That's three different types of European chocolate mixed together in one cup of hazelnut goodness. Go.

7.  Websites I have found recently that are GREAT:

www.operationbeautiful.com

www.1000awesomethings.com

www.givesmehope.com

8. Engaged in a social experiment at work by wearing Hayli's nametag when I could not find mine. Hayli and I look nothing alike, but people who had talked with me the previous day and remembered my name as Katherine DID NOT recall that I was Katherine. One man even talked ABOUT "Katherine" (me) to "Hayli" (me) saying I never emailed him his confirmation. This floored me. He had spoken with me multiple times, I checked him in, and when he came back to the desk he did not remember that it was me he had spoken to in the first place, he just talked about me behind my back TO me thinking I was someone else just because I was wearing someone else's nametag. This proves that some people do not pay attention at all.

9. The earthquake in Haiti has caused unthinkable hardship and damage. My heart goes out to this nation and makes me reconsider what I have previously believed to hardships in my life. There is no comparison and it puts things into perspective.



 

2AM musings....

1. It is more fun to drink a cocktail when there is an umbrella in it. Especially at Chinese restaurants. With a waiter named Ming. I don't know any waiters named Ming. But I bet there is a Chinese waiter named Ming somewhere and I want him to be my waiter. I feel as though I have just offended a whole slew of Chinese people, as well as waiters, as well as people named Ming. I am sorry. And also not sorry. I still want to meet a Chinese waiter named Ming who will serve me a cocktail with an umbrella in it.

2. The scale in my bathroom is 10 lbs lighter than the scale at the gym. I am not sure which one to believe, and so, I will split the difference and go with a 5 lb discrepancy so as to be fair to both.

3. I still want freckles. Desperately.

4.  Saddened no one ever bought me a chia pet this past holiday season, I think I will have to buy one for myself.

5. What does one do when faced with the ultimate brunch question 'sweet or savory?' What if you want sweet AND savory? Why must it be one or the other? Either or? It doesn't have to be! Go halfers with a friend and you're set. And always order a breakfast cocktail when you have the option to do so.

Preferable a bellini.


6. Slowly but surely kicking a caffeine habit is not pretty. The early stages are the worst.  Incandescent withdrawal symptoms include but are not limited to: headache, shakes, anger, confusion, brain fog. Alternatively, the feeling of being OFF caffeine is one of intrigue as well. Somewhat peaceful in a way.

7. I wonder about bus drivers and if they're happy. Also UPS delivery men. I have always wondered if the UPS men are happy.

8. I have a favorite spoon. I also have a favorite fork. Is it irrational to have favorite utensils?

9. My right foot is slightly larger than my left foot. This makes me very angry.

10. If you see an ugly baby, do you feel bad for thinking it's ugly or do you feel bad because, damn, that's an ugly baby.

Love to the masses.

K.xxx

Joy Chronicles

The past few days have brought me immense joy.

In no particular order......

1. Songwriting with an old friend. It is amazing to hear my music take shape and become a reality. Realizing I finally understand the words I wrote 10 years ago. Hearing contours of my voice and lyrics and the guitar. The feeling I have today is somewhat freeing.

2. Pulling the sheet from my blankets at night time and seeing electricity storms in the dark. Little moonbeams of light dancing at midnight.

3. The cook in the Greek restaurant off the Bryn Mawr stop who always knocks on the window whenever he sees me and waves :)

4. Two men who thought I was only 24 years old today.

5.  The singers at the redline stop who asked me to dance and come on the road with them.

6.  Sweet daisies in the green vase on my window sill.

7. Running into my friend on the train and making funny sign language to him from across the car, only to have the man in front of my friend think I was signing to him and watching him be extraordinarily confused. Priceless.

8. Seeing Ryan Kazsprzak walk into theWit today for his first cast meeting of Billy Elliot and us recognizing each other as I worked at the front desk and he came through the door. He played my son in a high school play of Our Town and now he is a famous dancer.

9. The fact that a portion of a melody running through my head finally took shape today as I was walking down the street, much like songs used to take shape for me years ago.

10. Just knowing that my character, Midge, in my upcoming show gets to wear 'action shorts' and carry a gun in a thigh holster gives me immense happiness. The ridiculousness of this show is delightful.

11. Listening to people try to pronounce the name of the restaurant, Cibo Matto, on the 2nd floor of the building where I work. I love it when people know they are saying it incorrectly but say it anyway and I love the people who believe they are saying it correctly and are actually pronouncing it completely wrong.

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I like to see signs in graffiti. I have for awhile now. This wasn't really graffiti, because it was really just the CTA marking their construction. But in the same place where I had received other signs in the past few months such as 'DONE,' for which I had contempt, and 'START,' in which I took refuge, today I saw the simple word 'GOOD.'

Indeed. And simply. And yes.

There is goodness and joy in the simplest of things.


K.xxxx

the broken fence

embers ran free like wildfire
igniting
willow trees that slept sweetly
unaware

though
hot coals
burned
at midnight,
clouds masked the
sun
that was
not
a sunrise

supposed
pool of
fire
emerging at dawn
sharp with reds and hues of passion
you were a

...beautiful mirage...

of
pale
dull
grey
dreams

give
       back
                the
                      sight
 take
        back
                 your
                         vision.

kick down
the dying fence
that was
never fixed

mended
fences
splinter
slowly

the fire
extinguished before
they awoke.

SKETCH LIST 1.3.10

The 10 Newest SKETCH Offenders of the New Year  
...to celebrate the year '10.

...in no particular order.

1. The dead pigeon I saw on the train tracks on my birthday. It was the same one from last week.

2. The fact that I still have no CHIA PET to my name from any of you slackers!

3. The ridiculously cold lobby at work and the fact that I am expected to work in arctic conditions.

4. The one who'd best hope she never finds herself alone in a room with me.

5. The movie, Funny People, for not being funny at all.

6. The movie, Nine, for having 7 too many dumb women in it.

7. Our landlord, Mohammed, for not giving us a key to our circuit breaker and then yelling at us after we shorted out the circuits.

8. The "happy birthday" never wished.

9. My body's new intolerance for coffee and caffeine. I do not know how to move forward from this crushing blow.

10. The act of writing out 2010. And saying it. Feels weird in my mouth and feels weird on paper. I keep writing '01 instead of '10. This is making my mild dyslexia worse.

Ghosts

It is so very hard to see a ghost run down the street to catch a train at 11:40 something on a Saturday night.

You've just gotten off the train yourself, and for some reason, exited the station on the side of the street you never exit from. It is for this mere chance reason that you've only by seconds avoided a street collision with your ghost who is running at full pace to catch the red line north or south or somewhere.

You observe for just a moment, unseen, and when it becomes safe to cross to the side of the street you meant to be on in the first place, you quietly continue your walk home, wondering what would have happened if a collision had occurred and why the ghost was running at all...and to where and to whom.

It is hard to walk the same streets as your ghosts. Especially when it is you the ghosts can't see.

HEROES

Heroes from the past 24 hours:

1. The boy.
2. Hilary, for making me my "It's my Birthday" name-tag.
3. Betsy, for everything and for the past 19 years of friendship.
4. The same boy for going well out of his way to get my missing  phone back to me.
5. The man who tipped me $10 when I thought he hated me.
6. The bus driver who wished everyone a happy new year.